dear mum and dad,

"we're not telling you what to do, we're just simply telling you what the right thing to do is,"


remind me to never; EVER say this to my children when it comes to post secondary education.
going to school should not define intelligence.
you both need to get over the fact that I'm different; that I don't need money to be happy, I don't need an education to feel significant.

you are responsible for pushing me away; and that's how the story ends.


on that note:
this is so appealing.

Africa

I finally have a goal to look forward to.

it's unrealistic, and I know I've said I want to do a lot of things; but this is for real.

creaky bus rides filled with valium and discomfort; I can only imagine what other kinds of discomfort I'll have the pleasure of experiencing. 

mountain biking with zebras and lions - seriously?

I sit here only to chant about how excited I am to be surrounded by  foreign luxuries, also of how shitty I am at school and how my boyfriend can be oblivious. then I realize that there are thousands, no, millions of people in worse conditions and are totally fulfilled with their life; because they don't know any different.

I should really put a harder effort into being less of a pre-madonna.  

cutting loses; and regaining them.

I missed my bed; to bad I passed out in it instead of studying the three chapters I told myself I would.
No worries: it was all for a good cause.

I missed my Sunday nights with my main ladies; I have never laughed so hard over a lesbian-ever. nevermind the on going confusion on how to flush Alexa's toilet, as well as trying to get down the stares in a state of blindness and constant snorts, struggling to stay quiet (mass fail on that one.)

I missed my car; that thing is "Paige" tainted yet again. It's going to be a blast, and a huge pain in the romp to get it back to square one again.

I missed my dog; she snores, and farts when she sleeps. I think she's worse then him, but it's hilarious!

AYE! guess who's sucking at academics today!?

fender bender.

"so what do you want to do?"

this is the question that gets my mind puttering in fifth gear; every time.

"well, I think I'm just going to take it day by day and find out."
I don't sound totally confident.
blank stares; as if I'm completely and utterly insane for not having a plan.
since when was planning your life out a requirement?
it's a stereotype; a social comfort.

"so no ideas?"

oh I have plenty of ideas, none in which you'll be interested in hearing.

"good luck with that" (thought bubble)

funny thing though, what surrounds us today was made from an idea that was once unrealistic; the automobile, flying, man on the moon.
so chew on that one for a moment or two... or three.

I am confident in my decisions.
I regret nothing.
I have my dreams.


today is what today has given me. tommorrow will give me something new.

....and eventually I will bump into something that sparks.

crossing fingers.

I just sent in my resume to be a promotions coordinator; assuming it means public speaking/promoting for events.

thought I would test my luck, but I realized that I really need to get my foot in the door for this stuff.


wish me luck!

ps. none stop on the tequila train with the new room mate was a great kick off to this new life.

the infamous peacock.

I found it; exactly. and it's in black in white which was preferred.

tattoo project number 4.
location: middle of the back.


ya dig?

ragoo

" I got a flask inside my pocket we can share it on the plane. If you promise to stay conscious I will try and do the same."

shit.

I took the bus for the first time in five years. standing in the cold never felt so liberating. sort of like my situation; i left "prematurely". what does that word even mean?
I'm addicted to tattoos; legitimately- 3 in 3 weeks, jeeze.

my apartment smells like freedom and studio cigarettes.
maudis criss!